Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize