Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
