She said her name was "party"
smell my finger.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
