Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
