And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
