There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize