If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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