If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
