i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
