So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
