how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My balls are so social today.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
