Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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