Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have demons in me.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if only i could text you this smell
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
