My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
