It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
