I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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