I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
