i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
