she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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