I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
