This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
