I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
