So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My ass is underappreciated
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
