Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
