i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
