he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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