ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
