Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
