She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
