Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My liver is preforming stress tests.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
