I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
