Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
this will be a night to untag.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
