Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
