She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize