The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
