I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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