I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
