I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
