You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
