he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
