I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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