I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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