Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
