After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
