Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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