Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
