No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
