ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
