I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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