I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
