i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
