Please, let me fuck your mom
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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