FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize