I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
