I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
