508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize