i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
