Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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