dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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