i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
